For as long as I can remember, I have listened to the lies of Satan. And one of the biggest lies he continues to tell me is the idea that I am not enough.
When I was in high school, I began comparing myself to others. I would look at my twin sister, the most beautiful person I know, my friends, and the people on TV, and I wondered why I wasn’t as pretty as them, or as cool as them. Satan began to plant lies of deceit. I began to feel like I didn’t measure up, not because of anything my family/friends said or did, but because of an unrealistic and ridiculous standard I had of who I should be. I was a loser. I wasn’t pretty enough.
When I moved to college, I was so excited when God called me to Christian Studies. For my whole life, I was the good Christian girl, the one who went to church, knew her Bible. And suddenly, I was surrounded by guys and girls just like me, students who loved Jesus, but knew way more about the Bible and ministry than I did. I once again began to feel this immense pressure, and Satan started whispering lies again, telling me that I wasn’t good enough. Many people around me were so involved in different things on campus, whether it was ministries or clubs in general, and though I was involved in some things, I felt like I wasn’t doing enough. I wasn’t doing enough for Jesus. And these lies that Satan started telling me so long ago began to dig in deep until I started telling them to myself.
Today was not a good day. Usually, I am a happy and optimistic, friendly girl, but today, I woke up feeling useless. I didn’t look in the mirror while getting ready, and I retreated inside myself, pretending that I was okay and everything was normal. Today, I felt like I wasn’t pretty enough, smart enough, or good enough. On days like these, Satan tries to rip me of who I am. He constantly yells in my ear that I am not enough, and no matter how hard I try, I will never ever ever be enough.
Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life. — Isaiah 43:4
The truth is there are times when I feel like I am not enough. I feel incompetent of everything that God has called me to be. I fell like I am not pretty enough, not smart enough, and not good enough. But the truth is I don’t get to say if I’m enough. Satan does not get to say if I’m enough. My worth and who I am isn’t for me to decide, but God. He gives me value. He is my worth.
He tells me that I am His daughter. He says that I am chosen, made righteous. He chose to die for me, not because I deserve it, not because of who I think I should be, but because of His great and boundless love.
Today, I woke up feeling worthless. I woke up feeling like I wasn’t good enough. Not pretty enough. Not smart enough. Not enough. But today, I refuse to believe it. I refuse to allow Satan to tell me lies. Today, I will run to the One who proudly proclaims that I am enough.
My prayer for any of you who might be like me–girls (or guys) who might feel like they can never measure up, that they will never be enough–is that you will run to Jesus. Even in the darkest days, I prayer is that you will boast in the awesomeness of Jesus Christ. If Satan tries to tell you who you are, tell him who your God is. I pray that you will remember who you are–that you are a child of a King, that you are chosen and made righteous, that you are precious. More than anything, I pray that you will always remember how much Jesus loves you and never doubt if you are enough for Him.
But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.– I Peter 2:9